We said children misbehave because they want attention, because they want to control the parent, they want to get back at the parent with revenge, or just give up and say “I cannot “. Children don’t know their misbehaviour has a goal. They may also use the same misbehaviour to seek different goals. A parent’s own behaviour can re-enforce a child’s misbehaviour.
The key to knowing the goal is to look at the following clues:
- How the child behaves;
- How you feel about the behaviour;
- What you do in response to the behaviour
- How the child responds to your response
Goal of POWER seeking behaviour can be ACTIVE such as
- throwing tantrums,
- making demands,
- arguing.
Goal of POWER seeking behaviour can be PASSIVE, such as
- being stubborn,
- delaying completing a task given,
- or being sloppy in completing it.
IT MAY BE MORE HELPFUL IF YOU:
- Refuse to give in;
- Withdraw from contest, and if possible leave the room;
- Let consequence occur for the child.
- Give the child choices;
- Let the child make decisions;
- Ask for child’s help and cooperation at times.
