We said children misbehave because they want attention, because they want to control the parent, they want to get back at the parent with revenge, or just give up and say “I cannot “. Children don’t know their misbehaviour has a goal. They may also use the same misbehaviour to seek different goals. A parent’s own behaviour can re-enforce a child’s misbehaviour.
The key to knowing the goal is to look at the following clues:
- How the child behaves;
- How you feel about the behaviour;
- What you do in response to the behaviour;
- How the child responds to your response.
Goal of DISPLAYING INADEQUACY is only PASSIVE, such as
- quitting easily;
- not trying
IT MAY BE MORE HELPFUL IF YOU:
- Do not pity;
- Do not take over but do activity with your child and guide;
- Stop all criticizing;
- Notice all efforts;
- Dont give up on child;
- Focus on strengths and talents;
- Notice when child makes wise choices and thinks of others;
- Give lots of encouragement.