As parents we need to know and understand, not only our child, but also ourselves.
An important starting point is to know what your typical parenting style is.
- Do you give orders?
- Do you give in?
- Do you give your child choices?
There is a difference between a request and an order. Orders inhibit the development of a positive trusting relation. It rather instills fear. Children need to trust, not fear their parents.
- This style sets unreasonable limits;
- It gives children little or no freedom;
- This style gives children lots of freedom, but no limits;
- Limits teach children to make choices;
- Children need to learn that others are important too;
- With this style parents help children learn to balance freedom and limits;
- They learn that their choices count;They learn that choices carry responsibility;
- We want our children to be responsible and to cooperate. Responsible children become responsible adults.
- Children need to trust, not fear parents. They need the chance to make choices. This helps them to learn limits and responsibility.